Christmas Music: The Good, the Bad, and the Unfortunate

Why does every single musician in the Western World feel the need to release a Christmas album? Is it the joy of the season, or just a sure-fire way to make some green? I'd say more often than not, musicians are motivated by the money. For the most part, I think it's kind of disgusting. How many different versions of "Sleigh Ride" does this world really need? One is more than enough if you ask me. 

A few weeks ago I was feeling nostalgic for the days when there was still a feeling of magic in the Christmas season. It got me thinking about the few Christmas songs and albums that I actually enjoy. 

A Charlie Brown Christmas is and always will be the best Christmas album in my opinion. Vince Guaraldi's piano work on songs such as "Christmas Time is Here," "Skating," and "Oh Tannenbaum" really reflect the joy and innocence of Christmas as a child.

Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas is another classic. I usually listen to this a few times during the Christmas Season. Ella Fitzgerald's voice is just so soothing and the album is almost completely lacking of kitschiness, which is a rarity with Christmas music.

Now, for every one decent Christmas album, there are at least two hundred terrible ones. During my brief moment of childhood nostalgia, I found myself surfing the i-Tunes Music Store Christmas selection. My search led to some fairly interesting and amusing discoveries. When I say that everyone has recorded a Christmas album at one point, I do not exaggerate. Here are just a few of the hidden gems of the Christmas genre that I stumbled upon.

Crash Test Dummies - We Three Kings 

-these were the guys who also wrote the worst-titled song of all time "MMM MMM MMM MMM"

Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis 

-if there are two things that definitely don't belong together, it's Christmas and hip hop...yikes

Cyndi Lauper - Christmas Conga 

-this song is just as bad as the title would suggest

Celine Dion & R. Kelly - I'm Your Angel 

-this is R. Kelly during his "I Believe I Can Fly" era...not my favorite period of his career

The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight) 

-Other than the tasteful use of parentheses in the title (always a plus in rock music), this song is complete garbage

Stevie Nicks - Silent Night 

The Gypsy Queen does a nauseating cover of "Silent Night" that would even make Baby Jesus cry

The Eurythmics - Winter Wonderland 

-There is something about the combination of dark 80s synth and the cheerfulness of Winter Wonderland that really, really doesn't work

John Denver - Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas) 

An even better use of the rock parentheses, this just has to be the best-titled Christmas song of all time

Well, that's just about enough terrible Christmas music to get you through a few glasses of Egg Nog. Have a safe and happy holiday season. I'll try and do the same. I wonder if Korean girls know about mistletoe...