Co-Teacher Training 101

Three weeks ago my co-teacher, Mr. Lee, informed me that he and I would be attending an "official" co-teachers workshop for SMOE high school teachers (SMOE being my employer, Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education). First of all, I should mention that Mr. Lee is only one of five co-teachers I have, along with Ms. Kim, Ms. Choi, Ms. Lee (no relation), and Ms. Ohn (a huge badass). However, Mr. Lee is sort of like my Korean chaperone. If I have a problem, I go to him. Plus, he is the head of the English department at my school. 

I received an email late last week explaining the training session in more detail. Basically, every native English teacher at a High School in Seoul was going to be descending upon the Hyundai Training Center in Yongin, Korea, along with their co-teachers, for what I imagined was to be little more than professional couples classes. One thing I was looking forward to was seeing the Hyundai Training Center again since I had spent my first week in Korea essentially quarantined in this massive building, alongside two hundred other English teachers. This was where I first tasted Kimchi and experienced the first of many mid-week Soju hangovers. I was curious to see what kind of feelings of short-term nostalgia or deja-vu this building would evoke.

Fast forward to this morning at 8:16 AM. I deliberately walked down to the subway station 4 minutes early so that I could grab a large cup of coffee at the nearby Starbucks. Unfortunately my Mr. Lee decided to get there early too and my plan was foiled. "There is no time," he says. I shuddered to think about all the instant Korean coffee I would be drinking in an hour to try and keep myself awake. So we head down into the depths of Suseo Station to hop on the Bundang Line, heading south to the 'burbs. As fate would have it, we happened to step into the same car that my friend Jay was occupying. Jay and I briefly chatted about post-modernist literature, Antonio Banderas, and the highlights of his recent trip to Costco. 26 minutes later we arrived at Miguem Station, where we were supposed to pick up a bus that would be taking us to the Training Center. 

Once on the bus, I decide to eat my daily toasted banana sandwich. As I took that first bite I was reminded of the genuine look of delight that Toast Lady had when I approached her shop this morning. For those of you who may not know, Toast Lady is one of my Korean crushes. She is a complicated and beautiful human being who deserves a blog post of her own. So, more on her at a later date....

As I'm staring out the window, enjoying my toast, Mr. Lee asks me a seemingly innocuous question. "Cooper, is it common for American High School students to have a party before graduation?" 

"No, but it is common to have a party after graduation." 

"Oh," he says. "What is this party called?"

"A graduation party," I say, smile, and turn back to my window and toast.

"I have heard that it is common for American girls to get pregnant during these kinds of parties. Is this true?"

"Ummm.....no. That is not true." I say, slightly taken aback. I sit there, thinking about this question for a minute or so. "Where did you here this?"

"From a Korean English teacher," he replies. Then he pauses for about thirty seconds. "But in American movies, High School girls usually wear sexy dress and partake in such sexual activities."

"Yea, I guess so. But, Hollywood movies are generally not accurate depictions of real life in America. Everything is either exaggerated or glamourized. I assume that the same is true with Korean movies."  

"Yes, I think so." He replies.

This conversation sat in the back of my head all day. I would imagine that this kind of assumption is fairly common in Korea, and perhaps much of the rest of the world, the assumption being that much of Hollywood's depiction of America is fairly true to life. Incidentally, Mr. Lee also asked me a few minutes later if many Americans carry guns in the street.

The rest of the day went pretty much as expected: hours of dull training sessions, ice-breakers, demo lessons, mediocre Korean lunch, etc. Dinner was an unexpected gourmet feast in the form of a Western/Asian buffet. So after gorging myself on sushi and spaghetti, I was ready to get the F out and get back to my Fortress of Solitude. However, SMOE had other ideas. Suddenly out of nowhere pops MISTAH CHAHLIE, a self-proclaimed game show host. Mr. Charlie was perhaps the most ridiculous person I had ever seen. He was sporting John Lennon-style glasses with purple lenses, a purple velvet suit, and lime green tie. 

"ARE YOU READY FOR SUPER EXCITING FUN GAMES TIME?" Mr. Charlie repeated, over and over and over again as he threw smiley-face balls through the crowd and blared K-Pop hits. Mr. Charlie's idea of "super exciting fun games time" involved everyone in the room crowding on the stage and engaging in a series of awkward meet-and greets where you had to hold hands, say hello to the person in front of you, spin them around counter-clockwise, and then find another person. It was sort of like musical chairs in the fact that anyone who couldn't find a partner after the 'spin' was out of the game. Tragically, Mr. Charlie hadn't planned on the fact that 75% of us were happy to be 'out,' so the game didn't last very long. 

We were then handed our official "SMOE High School Co-Teacher's Training 2008" coffee mugs as we walked out the door and climbed on the buses that would take us back to some form of civilization. I spent the 25 minute bus ride back to the subway station talking about Boshingtang (Korean stew with Dog Meat) and the exciting prospect of eating raw Horse meat in Japan. Just another day, I suppose.