Great beer commercials from the '80s

What better way to close out 2008 than with some classic beer commercials from the 1980s?

Busch

-this commercial has a definite Brokeback Mountain vibe to it

Stroh's

-What ever happened to Stroh's? These guys must be pretty upset right now.

Miller High Life

-High Life is for honest, hardworking Americans. Anyone who drinks Budweiser must be friends with the terrorists, or at least the Belgians.

Coors Light

-great Shooter McGavin cameo in this one

Coors

-It took me the entire length of this commercial to figure out that the guy isn't Scott Baio.

Pabst

-this is quite possibly the greatest commercial ever made

Put in a quarter and win a...lobster?

Last night I was wandering the streets with my fellow Tear Jerks when we stumbled upon what appeared to be a claw machine. You know those machines where you put in some money and try to win a lighter or stuffed animal by picking it up with a claw? We found that, but instead of winning a Spider-Man doll, you win a live lobster. Obviously, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to play, so John gave it a go. As happens with every attempt at the claw game, he failed. It was probably all for the best since none of us could figure out what we would do if we had actually won a lobster. White people get stared at enough in the subway.

Mr. Chi City's guide to getting women

Let the Right One In

Living in Korea has obvious drawbacks for a film buff. The only english-language films that make their way to Korean theaters are brainless action flicks and trashy romantic comedies. And, for obvious reasons, I can't really see anything unless it is in English. Luckily, the magical powers of the internet have allowed me to still watch films that I wouldn't otherwise be able to see until my return home. There are still some that I haven't been able to locate (Slumdog Millionare, Frost/Nixon, the Wrestler, Synecdoche, New York) but otherwise I have watched quite a few recent movies from the Western world. 

When I went to see Quantum of Solace back in November, there was a preview for a Swedish Vampire film called 'Let the Right One In." The imagery was startling, though I couldn't understand any of the language in the preview. A few weeks ago, I was finally able to watch the movie and was completely enthralled. This is by far the best film I've watched in 2008.

The story follows a 12 year old boy who lives in an apartment complex outside of Stockholm. The boy is a loner who often gets picked on at school. A girl moves in to the apartment complex and the two of them start to spend some time together, and eventually the boy finds out that his new friend is a vampire. I won't go into any more plot detail but I highly recommend this film. 

One thing I appreciate about European filmmakers is that they often hold their audience to higher standards than your average Hollywood director. They don't shove ideas in your face but rather allow the viewer to assess the film for themselves and create their own interpretation. 'Let the Right One In' is a subtle masterpiece, a film that will stick with you for days or even weeks. It is a story of loneliness, friendship, and the difficulties of youth. 

Please post your thoughts if you have seen this already, because I haven't heard anyone else's opinion.

Fan Death

Never go to sleep with your fan still running. It may end up killing you. At least, this is what the majority of Koreans believe. Fan Death is a bizarre myth in Korea; the belief is that, if you leave a fan on for a long period of time (overnight), it will suck all of the oxygen out of the air, causing you to suffocate to death. Now, this may seem silly to anyone who reads or hears about it for the first time. I still think it's quite ridiculous. However, the Korean Government takes it very seriously, listing "asphyxiation from electric fans or air conditioners" as one of the most common summer accidents. How is this possible? According to medical professionals, it's not. According to every Korean I have spoken to about this issue, it is very possible.

I first broached the topic with my teacher's conversation class. This is a class I teach every Monday afternoon for any teacher in the school who wants to practice their conversational English. I usually find an interesting article to read or discuss but the conversation almost always ends up directly relating to me, my beliefs, and all-things America. A few weeks ago though, I decided to begin the class by asking everyone if they believed in Fan Death. I didn't exactly put it in those terms, but I got the general idea across. I asked something along the lines of, "Do you believe that a fan can kill someone if it is left on overnight in a closed room?" To my surprise, everybody in the room believed in Fan Death. They turned the question back at me and I said that, no, I do not believe in Fan Death. In fact, I have been sleeping with a fan on every single night for at least the past four years. This comment garnered a mixed reaction of concern, shock, and horror. Gasps, murmers, and OH NO's spread throughout the room. It was almost as if I just explained how I have been cheating death for the past four years. In a sense, this is what they were hearing. The mood in the room started to feel a little heavy, so I decided to change the topic. Incidentally, there had been complaints that some of my lesson topics were too heavy or morbid for some of the teachers, but that is a whole different subject altogether. 

Anyway, I continued my quest for a Korean who didn't believe in Fan Death the following weekend, at a bar in Hongdae. Somehow I started talking with three Koreans, all of whom were probably in their early twenties. After a few drinks and a few laughs, I decided to give it a shot. Almost immediately after asking about Fan Death, I could tell that this was a bad idea. All three of them looked at each other, said a few words in Korean, and told me that they did indeed believe in Fan Death. It didn't appear like a topic they wanted to discuss in any detail, so I didn't ask any follow-up questions.

Now, as I sit alone in my apartment at 12:30 AM on a Saturday morning, I am wondering one thing:

Is tonight the night? Is my fan finally going to suck all of the air out of my shabby apartment, thus causing me to die a horrible and painful death?

This is my fan:

Upon first glance, it looks harmless enough. I have no complaints. It kept me cool during those hot days of September. It provides me with the required ambient noise I need for sleep in the cold nights of December. It has shown no signs of evil intent. Is this the look of a secret killer? Perhaps, but I'm just going to keep on cheating death, one night at a time.

A Night Out with the Co-Workers

On Tuesday I was informed that a few teachers from my office were going out to dinner and they wanted me to join. According to my co-teacher, Mr. Lee, the dinner was a end-of-term celebration of sorts. I eagerly accepted the invitation, knowing full well that 'going out to dinner' to a Korean means a small dinner followed by massive amounts of booze and, most likely a trip to the Noraebang (Karaoke Room). The night started out as I had expected. We had dinner in a small restaurant, and I was actually told by one of my co-workers to save some room for beer. After dinner, Mr. Oh told us that he wanted to take us to a famous Korean microbrewery and treat us all to some beer because his son had just gotten into a prestigious science high school in Seoul. This was music to my ears seeing as how, besides two Sam Adams Lagers at Thanksgiving, I have been drinking nothing but Korean Busch Lite for four months. 

When we arrive, I quickly realize that this is like no Microbrewery I had ever seen. The set-up was more akin to a nightclub. A large stage in one corner was showing a live concert of Beyonce on a 20x20 projection screen. Blue Christmas lights hung along all of the walls. Waiters walked around with in-ear pieces and walkie talkies attached to their belts. Every seat in the room had at least three 50-inch flat screen televisions within their line of sight, all of which were showing the Beyonce concert. Beyonce was on mute however, and the speakers blasted today's K-Pop favorites instead.

So we take our seats, get a few samplers of beer to decide which one we want to dive into, and then order. Two minutes later, the waiter brings out this giant tube of beer with its own tap. The tube held exactly ten pint glasses worth of beer. Mr. Oh wasted no time in slamming his first glass. By the time he was halfway through number two, his face was starting to turn red, a sure-fire sign that a Korean is well on his way to getting drunk. Meanwhile, Ms. Lee and I discussed some of her favorite bands: Skid Row, the Clash, Nirvana, and some Japanese speed metal band that I had never heard of. What made this conversation so awesome was the fact that Ms. Lee is a very quiet, unassuming, middle-aged Korean woman. She is quite possibly the last person in the world who I can picture rocking out to Japanese speed metal in her spare time. 

Right as I was finishing my second glass of Pilsner, a group of Filipinos walked on to the stage, all clad in matching Santa Claus outfits, all except for the female lead singer, who was wearing some sort of Santa/dress combo. Their set opened with a bland instrumental cover of Jingle Bells, followed by a few other Christmas tunes played with almost no emotion. Needless to say, I was unimpressed, though very attracted to the lead singer. Here is the band during the second or third song of the set:

After about twenty minutes, the band leaves the stage...set break. Ten minutes later they return, and immediately shift gears. The set opens with a funky take on Sade's "Smooth Operator" followed by a rousing performance of "Killing Me Softly." At this point, the female singer removes her Mrs. Clause sweater, a sign of things to come. The band then drops into "Shake Your Booty." The singer starts dancing around the stage as the guitarist and keyboarder trade solos before the band segues flawlessly into Kool & the Gang's "Get Down On It." This song really gets the crowd going, and Koreans start dancing all over the place. I have never seen anything quite like it. "Get Down On It" flows right into "Celebration," another 70s funk classic before things start to inevitably slow back down. 

To be honest, I don't remember what they played after this. I was too busy getting hassled by my co-workers for "not drinking enough beer." I do remember that they were playing Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer as I walked out. I turned around to glimpse the stage for one last time and noticed that the singer had put her Mrs. Clause sweater back on. I guess the funk was short-lived.

Luckily the night ended there. No Noraebang this time. Maybe my co-teachers had heard about my provocative performance of "Like a Virgin" back in November....

Anyway, here's a great shot of two of my co-teachers, Mr. Lee and Ms. Choi, getting a little loose, as I like to say. 

Merry Christmas

Christmas Music: The Good, the Bad, and the Unfortunate

Why does every single musician in the Western World feel the need to release a Christmas album? Is it the joy of the season, or just a sure-fire way to make some green? I'd say more often than not, musicians are motivated by the money. For the most part, I think it's kind of disgusting. How many different versions of "Sleigh Ride" does this world really need? One is more than enough if you ask me. 

A few weeks ago I was feeling nostalgic for the days when there was still a feeling of magic in the Christmas season. It got me thinking about the few Christmas songs and albums that I actually enjoy. 

A Charlie Brown Christmas is and always will be the best Christmas album in my opinion. Vince Guaraldi's piano work on songs such as "Christmas Time is Here," "Skating," and "Oh Tannenbaum" really reflect the joy and innocence of Christmas as a child.

Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas is another classic. I usually listen to this a few times during the Christmas Season. Ella Fitzgerald's voice is just so soothing and the album is almost completely lacking of kitschiness, which is a rarity with Christmas music.

Now, for every one decent Christmas album, there are at least two hundred terrible ones. During my brief moment of childhood nostalgia, I found myself surfing the i-Tunes Music Store Christmas selection. My search led to some fairly interesting and amusing discoveries. When I say that everyone has recorded a Christmas album at one point, I do not exaggerate. Here are just a few of the hidden gems of the Christmas genre that I stumbled upon.

Crash Test Dummies - We Three Kings 

-these were the guys who also wrote the worst-titled song of all time "MMM MMM MMM MMM"

Run DMC - Christmas in Hollis 

-if there are two things that definitely don't belong together, it's Christmas and hip hop...yikes

Cyndi Lauper - Christmas Conga 

-this song is just as bad as the title would suggest

Celine Dion & R. Kelly - I'm Your Angel 

-this is R. Kelly during his "I Believe I Can Fly" era...not my favorite period of his career

The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight) 

-Other than the tasteful use of parentheses in the title (always a plus in rock music), this song is complete garbage

Stevie Nicks - Silent Night 

The Gypsy Queen does a nauseating cover of "Silent Night" that would even make Baby Jesus cry

The Eurythmics - Winter Wonderland 

-There is something about the combination of dark 80s synth and the cheerfulness of Winter Wonderland that really, really doesn't work

John Denver - Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas) 

An even better use of the rock parentheses, this just has to be the best-titled Christmas song of all time

Well, that's just about enough terrible Christmas music to get you through a few glasses of Egg Nog. Have a safe and happy holiday season. I'll try and do the same. I wonder if Korean girls know about mistletoe...

WNBA Live 2008

Generosity: A Blessing and a Curse

Koreans are a generous people. They absolutely LOVE to give gifts. Incidentally, they love to give me gifts. Almost everyday, I come back to my desk to find little treats. My students love to give me chocolate or photos of themselves or free demos for online computer games so that I can play with them. Teachers love to give me food or socks or little dangly things that hang off of cell phones. Generally, I receive these gifts with the greatest of enthusiasm. Sometimes though, things get a little out of hand.

The one flaw about receiving gifts is that you absolutely must accept. If a teacher gives me a potato in the morning (which happens often), I am expected to eat it. Maybe I just had some pop tarts, or maybe I'm 30 minutes away from eating lunch. No excuse. If I don't eat the potato, chaos ensues. 

I found this out the hard way when I came back from a class to find a plate of rice cakes sitting in front of my computer. "This is from science teacher," says my co-teacher, Mr. Lee. Though I don't necessarily know who 'science teacher' is, I smile and say, "Oh, that is really nice," and push the rice cakes to the side as I sit down to check facebook or gmail or whatever it is I do all day.

"Why don't you eat?" asks Mr. Lee, looking quite concerned. I was still trying to get over the absurd amount of food I ate at lunch and couldn't really imagine stuffing rice cakes in my mouth at the moment. "I'm not hungry," I say. Apparently that is not a factor. I am told that this is a "delicious traditional Korean rice cake," which is subliminal code for "you need to eat this right now." I get the hint and grudgingly plow through the plate of rice cakes, watching my stomach expand in front of my eyes. 

Whether it was "Give Kimchi to a foreigner Day," or due simply to fate, I received two giant-sized plastic containers of grade-A, uncut, home-made Kimchi yesterday. Due to the extreme excitement of one of the teachers (repeated clapping, jumping in place, shouting...), this is apparently a huge honor. I smiled, bowed, and Kamsa Needa-ed my way out of the room, wondering what the hell I was going to do with all of this Kimchi. 

Here is a shot of just one of the plastic containers now lying on the floor of my kitchen. My dorm-room sized fridge can't even hold one of them. Each container probably holds a six month supply of Kimchi. If I did have room, I'd probably still be making my way through the second container in time to ring in the new year...in 2010. 

The dilemma I have is this: I have no idea what to do with all this goddamn Kimchi. I wish that I could have just told these teachers that, though the gift is much appreciated, I simply have no room in which to store the Kimchi. Unfortunately this is not an option. Such a response would make me blacklisted among every teacher in my school. Word would spread like SARS around Seoul Robotics High School that I don't appreciate gifts, and I would never get oranges or Pepero again. 

What do I do with all of this Kimchi? After much thought, I have come up with two options. I could secretly throw it all away or I could give it to a homeless person. Neither of these options seem probable, however. If I throw it away, I'll feel awful. To throw away ten pounds of homemade Kimchi is a 'fuck you' to the entire nation of Korea. Not only that, but there are moral issues at stake. I can't justify wasting that much food. 

There is a homeless man who has recently set up shop in my subway station. I am sure he would be thrilled to have a year's supply of Kimchi. If not, he could probably trade it in for a few bottles of Soju. However, I don't think I could bring myself to walk up to this man and simply hand him two giant containers of Kimchi. I imagine he doesn't speak any English and he would probably be very confused. "Why the hell is this white guy giving me a massive amount of Kimchi?" Not only that, but people around us would start staring. "Why the hell is this white guy giving that drunk a massive amount of Kimchi?" The situation would be entirely too awkward. Plus, I walk by this guy every day. "Oh, there goes that weird Kimchi guy," he'd think to himself as I stroll by. 

So now I'm forced to come up with option C. What is option C? I don't know yet, but until I figure it out, my apartment will permeate with the not-so-pleasing odor of Kimchi.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...

My Favorite Albums of 2008...a top 10 list

10.)

Q-Tip - The Renaissance

The Carter III may be everyone else's favorite hip-hop album of '08 but, song for song, I'll take the Renaissance. Q-Tip is, simply put, more fun. The first four tracks start the album on the right path with a seamless flow of jazzy beats and Tip's laid-back rhymes.

Listen: Gettin Up

9.) 

Atlas Sound - Let the Blind Lead Those Who Follow Blindly

Atlas Sound is the side-project of Deerhunter frontman Brendan Cox. The album shares a lot of similarities with Deerhunter's sonic, layered production and late '80s shoegaze/goth sound. Atlas Sound is more personal though, and this reveals itself in the quiet, subtle mood of the album.

Listen: River Cord

8.)

Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours

Cut Copy does what about 20 other "indie electronica" bands have done in the past two years. They mix a full-band sound with retro synthesizers and 808 drum beats, the difference being the Cut Copy manage to sound original when they do it. This album is clever, fun, and consistently fresh.

Listen: Feel the Love

7.) Jaytech - Everything is OK

House DJs rarely put out good studio albums. The best place to hear new house music is on a mix, whether from a record label or the DJ himself (or herself, I suppose). I first heard Everything is Ok in June and it has been in constant rotation ever since. Every melody, every bass line, and every song structure is just perfect. There is nothing really revelatory about this album. What it does is combine everything that is great about Progressive House and leave out the rest.

Listen: Pyramid

6.) Sun Kil Moon - April
I love Mark Kozelek very, very much. He is one of my favorite singer/songwriters of any generation. April is definitely the most challenging of Kozelek's albums. It took me about four months to get to a point where I really, really liked it. However, songs like "Lost Verses" and "Moorestown" hold some of the most beautifully haunting lyrics and melodies that Kozelek ever wrote. This album is definitely worth the effort.

Listen: Moorestown

5.)
Flying Lotus - Los Angeles

Los Angeles is definitely the most original and interesting electronic album I heard this year. Deep, organic, restrained beats create a layer for Flying Lotus' trippy, chopped-up melodies. Unlike most albums, Los Angeles saves the best for last. The final few tracks, some of which are the only ones with vocals, are the best on the album. This also gets my vote for best 'headphones' album of the year.

Listen: RobertaFlack

4.)
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago

If Vampire Weekend was the ultra-hyped band of the first half of 'o8, then Bon Iver definitely stole their crown. I first heard this album while sitting in the back of a cramped van in Busan, Korea. It was an album forged in the backwoods of Wisconsin, and that is probably the best place to fully appreciate its beauty.

Listen: Re: Stacks

3.)
Bill Frisell - History, Mystery

Bill Frisell is one of the most consistent artists in American music history. In the past twenty years, he has released an unthinkable amount of near-flawless albums ranging from free jazz to Americana. History, Mystery is a two-disc affair that captures the best of Frisell's Unspeakable Orchestra from the past two years of live shows. The album features the haunting, quirky, and beautifully crafted style found in all if Frisell's work.

Listen: A Change is Gonna Come

2.)
Hercules & Love Affair - Self-titled

Everybody has that one album that ends up being the soundtrack for their summer, and this was mine. I listened to at least half of it every day from June until the end of August. Hercules & Love Affair is pure disco-fueled energy.

Listen: Blind

1.)
Los Campesinos! - Hold On Now, Youngster...

By far the biggest surprise this year, Los Campesinos! popped onto my radar out of nowhere. Two weeks ago, I had never even heard of this band and now I am borderline obsessed. Hold On Now, Youngster...embodies everything that is good about music. It's exciting, fresh, original, beautiful, sad, triumphant, and so much more. Los Campesinos! actually put out a second album this year but I haven't managed to stop listening to this one long enough to hear it. 

Listen: We Are All Accelerated Readers

This video is incredible

courtesy of Jake.is

Co-Teacher Training 101

Three weeks ago my co-teacher, Mr. Lee, informed me that he and I would be attending an "official" co-teachers workshop for SMOE high school teachers (SMOE being my employer, Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education). First of all, I should mention that Mr. Lee is only one of five co-teachers I have, along with Ms. Kim, Ms. Choi, Ms. Lee (no relation), and Ms. Ohn (a huge badass). However, Mr. Lee is sort of like my Korean chaperone. If I have a problem, I go to him. Plus, he is the head of the English department at my school. 

I received an email late last week explaining the training session in more detail. Basically, every native English teacher at a High School in Seoul was going to be descending upon the Hyundai Training Center in Yongin, Korea, along with their co-teachers, for what I imagined was to be little more than professional couples classes. One thing I was looking forward to was seeing the Hyundai Training Center again since I had spent my first week in Korea essentially quarantined in this massive building, alongside two hundred other English teachers. This was where I first tasted Kimchi and experienced the first of many mid-week Soju hangovers. I was curious to see what kind of feelings of short-term nostalgia or deja-vu this building would evoke.

Fast forward to this morning at 8:16 AM. I deliberately walked down to the subway station 4 minutes early so that I could grab a large cup of coffee at the nearby Starbucks. Unfortunately my Mr. Lee decided to get there early too and my plan was foiled. "There is no time," he says. I shuddered to think about all the instant Korean coffee I would be drinking in an hour to try and keep myself awake. So we head down into the depths of Suseo Station to hop on the Bundang Line, heading south to the 'burbs. As fate would have it, we happened to step into the same car that my friend Jay was occupying. Jay and I briefly chatted about post-modernist literature, Antonio Banderas, and the highlights of his recent trip to Costco. 26 minutes later we arrived at Miguem Station, where we were supposed to pick up a bus that would be taking us to the Training Center. 

Once on the bus, I decide to eat my daily toasted banana sandwich. As I took that first bite I was reminded of the genuine look of delight that Toast Lady had when I approached her shop this morning. For those of you who may not know, Toast Lady is one of my Korean crushes. She is a complicated and beautiful human being who deserves a blog post of her own. So, more on her at a later date....

As I'm staring out the window, enjoying my toast, Mr. Lee asks me a seemingly innocuous question. "Cooper, is it common for American High School students to have a party before graduation?" 

"No, but it is common to have a party after graduation." 

"Oh," he says. "What is this party called?"

"A graduation party," I say, smile, and turn back to my window and toast.

"I have heard that it is common for American girls to get pregnant during these kinds of parties. Is this true?"

"Ummm.....no. That is not true." I say, slightly taken aback. I sit there, thinking about this question for a minute or so. "Where did you here this?"

"From a Korean English teacher," he replies. Then he pauses for about thirty seconds. "But in American movies, High School girls usually wear sexy dress and partake in such sexual activities."

"Yea, I guess so. But, Hollywood movies are generally not accurate depictions of real life in America. Everything is either exaggerated or glamourized. I assume that the same is true with Korean movies."  

"Yes, I think so." He replies.

This conversation sat in the back of my head all day. I would imagine that this kind of assumption is fairly common in Korea, and perhaps much of the rest of the world, the assumption being that much of Hollywood's depiction of America is fairly true to life. Incidentally, Mr. Lee also asked me a few minutes later if many Americans carry guns in the street.

The rest of the day went pretty much as expected: hours of dull training sessions, ice-breakers, demo lessons, mediocre Korean lunch, etc. Dinner was an unexpected gourmet feast in the form of a Western/Asian buffet. So after gorging myself on sushi and spaghetti, I was ready to get the F out and get back to my Fortress of Solitude. However, SMOE had other ideas. Suddenly out of nowhere pops MISTAH CHAHLIE, a self-proclaimed game show host. Mr. Charlie was perhaps the most ridiculous person I had ever seen. He was sporting John Lennon-style glasses with purple lenses, a purple velvet suit, and lime green tie. 

"ARE YOU READY FOR SUPER EXCITING FUN GAMES TIME?" Mr. Charlie repeated, over and over and over again as he threw smiley-face balls through the crowd and blared K-Pop hits. Mr. Charlie's idea of "super exciting fun games time" involved everyone in the room crowding on the stage and engaging in a series of awkward meet-and greets where you had to hold hands, say hello to the person in front of you, spin them around counter-clockwise, and then find another person. It was sort of like musical chairs in the fact that anyone who couldn't find a partner after the 'spin' was out of the game. Tragically, Mr. Charlie hadn't planned on the fact that 75% of us were happy to be 'out,' so the game didn't last very long. 

We were then handed our official "SMOE High School Co-Teacher's Training 2008" coffee mugs as we walked out the door and climbed on the buses that would take us back to some form of civilization. I spent the 25 minute bus ride back to the subway station talking about Boshingtang (Korean stew with Dog Meat) and the exciting prospect of eating raw Horse meat in Japan. Just another day, I suppose.

It's the little things...

Go to google and search for "worst band in the world."

This Month in K-Pop: December

Kara, my favorite K-Pop group, released a new single recently called "Pretty Girl." Some of you may recall Kara's video for "Rock U" in one of my first posts. This is still far and away my favorite K-Pop song. "Pretty Girl" is not as good, but the group is so full of bubble-gum charm that you can't help but love it. Plus, how can you dislike a song with this chorus: "If you wanna pretty, every wanna pretty." I mean, come on...that is incredible.

'Boy Bands' and 'Girl Bands' may be yesterday's news in America, they are still a major factor in the K-Pop scene. 'Girl Bands' such as Kara, Wonder Girls, and the newest addition, Burning-L, spread their sugary magic throughout the Korean radio waves while 'Boy Bands' such as Big Bang and Epik High attempt to combine the group appeal of 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys with the machismo and image of American hip-hop. 

Big Bang is currently one of the biggest groups in K-Pop. Over the summer, Big Bang released "Haru Haru" (Day by Day). The song was an enormous hit, up there with Davichi's "Love & War." There newest single is called "Sunset Glow." This video should give you a good idea of what Big Bang is all about. While you watch this, keep in mind that their 'tough guy' image is totally believable to almost any Korean under the age of 25. Also notice their constant shift from Korean lyrics to lame generic English phrases like "Let's Go" or "Wassup."

In other news: Lee, Hyori is playing a show in Seoul on Friday night. I desperately wish I was going. 

Gardening on Salvia

Festive Seoul

Photos taken in Myeong-dong

Where are they now? Full House edition

I recently discovered that popular 'mash-up' artist Girl Talk may have gotten his name from the popular American sitcom Full House. At one point in the series, Stephanie and Kimmy form a band (with Jessie Katsopolis as manager) called Girl Talk. As this Youtube clip proves, the band gave Ace of Base a run for their money with a rousing cover of "I Saw The Sign." In retrospect, this is probably not where the name comes from, but it got me thinking…I wonder what the cast members of Full House are doing now?

First of all, anyone who attended UVM during the 06/07 school year knows that Bob Saget has spent the past few years traveling the country doing mediocre standup, consisting almost entirely of his 'shocking' vulgarity. I think his tour was even called "This Ain't No Danny Tanner" or something like that. Saget is also a frequent guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show and had a crucial cameo in the stoner classic Half Baked.

According to a recent article from Starpulse.com, John Stamos is working on a Full House reunion starring "some of the original cast members" (read: any cast member he can drag into this inevitable disaster). Other than that, I can only imagine that he has spent the past few years trying to get over his divorce with Rebecca Romijn. Though, according to Wikipedia, he is now dating a super model. As far as his career is concerned, Stamos has had minor roles and guest appearances in shows such as E.R. and Friends, and hosted a Comedy Central Roast for Bob Saget. Needless to say, he could use a Rippers reunion.

Candice Cameron, otherwise know as Donna Jo Tanner, D.J., or 'Deej' is an outspoken Evangelical Christian along with her older brother Kurt. Technically, she is now Candice Cameron Bure since marrying NHL star Valeri Bure. Here's a fun fact: the two met through mutual friend David Courier! Candice's post-Full House career has been about as productive as Stamos'. She starred in a made-for-TV movie called Moonlight & Mistletoe alongside Tom Arnold. She now spends her time endorsing Christian homeschooling academies and writing a monthly column for Christian Women Online.

David Curier, of Uncle Joey fame, has always been the underdog of Full House. If any cast member deserves a successful post-show career, it should be him. Unfortunately, Curier hasn't been doing much since Full House. The most exciting pieces of information offered on his Wikipedia page is his attendance at the Comedy Central Roast for Bob Saget, and possibility that Alanis Morissette's song "You Outta Know" might be about him. Incidentally, Courier also owns an Emu farm in New Zealand.

As a child, I always felt a personal connection to Stephanie Tanner. Like Stephanie, I felt misunderstood and underappreciated as the middle child of my family. In reality however, we were both attention whores who went through a semi-rebellious teen phase. Jodie Sweetin, who played Stephanie on the show, has done almost nothing professionally since her Full House days, though she did manage to cultivate a pretty substantial addiction to methamphetamines for a while. She is currently sober and working on a memoir about her deterioration via drugs and alcohol called "Wild Card."

Surprisingly Lori Loughlin has had a pretty bland career since her days of Wake Up, San Francisco. She starred in a few under-the-radar flicks and a WB series that tanked during the first season.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Andrea Barber has done almost nothing since her role as the Kimmy Gibbler, the feminists' answer to Samuel "Screech" Powers.

The most shocking discovery in my Full House research is the current whereabouts of Scott Weinger, who played D.J.'s longtime boyfriend, Steve. As any Full House fan will recall, Steve was the dumb Jock with a heart of gold. Scott Weigner, however, enrolled at Harvard University as an English major with a minor in French literature. He graduated Magna Cum Laude in 1998. Fun Fact: Scott Weigner was the voice of Disney's Alladin!

So there you have it, the current whereabouts of the Full House cast members. I purposely ignored the Olson Twins because they are still somewhat successful and nobody really cares about them anyway. What about Nicki and Alex, you ask? Wikipedia has no information in regards to their post-Full House life. One may assume that they are currently enjoying their teenage years getting hand jobs from Full House fans across the country. Avid fans may also remember Vicky, who was Danny's girlfriend and, at one point, fiancé. Where is Vicky now? Who cares? I always hated Vicky, anyway.

My First 2009 Prediction

On January 12, 2009, Animal Collective will release their 9th studio album, Merriweather Post Pavilion. One of the tracks, "Brothersport," was leaked onto the net a few weeks back. Based on this song and what I've heard of the other new tunes from live recordings, Animal Collective is going to blow up in a big way in 2009.

You heard it here first...

A Strange Encounter

Last night, after a long and exhausting day at work, nothing seemed more appealing to me than large cup of coffee, a comfortable chair, and a book. So I decided to walk over to the Starbucks near my apartment and relax for a little bit before making dinner. I get my coffee and start to walk towards the big comfortable chairs in the back, tucked away in a corner so I can read in peace. As I'm about to sit down, I hear "Hello, Hello." Since I have never seen another non-Korean in this coffee shop, I turn around. Sure enough, two old men are sitting at a nearby table and waving me over. "Hello. What are you doing?" one of the men asks me. "Umm, I'm just getting a cup of coffee," I reply. I'm then bombarded with a series of questions: "Do you live around here?" "What are you doing in Korea?" "How long have you been here?" "What do you think about Korea?" "Where are you from in America?"

Whoa...

I answer their questions with the faint hope that I will at some point be allowed to return to my jacket and scarf, waiting patiently over in the comfy chair by the corner. Instead, the two men insist that I sit at their table. Seeing no other viable option, I grab my things and sit down beside them. The conversation begins in a surprisingly bleak tone. One of the men (the older and shorter of the two) tells me about his two sons in America, one in New Jersey and one in Washington, DC. He tells me that his wife died ten years ago so he tries to spend as much time as possible in America with his two sons. However, they get sick of him and he must return to Korea, where he feels lonely and sad. As I am trying to think of a way to respond to this, the other man turns to me and says, "Yes, my wife also is dead. I am lonely too." 

Thankfully, the conversation soon shifts from death and depression to Shakespeare. I learn that the older man's name is Dr. Joon Hyon Kim and he used to be a prominent English professor, having written multiple books on Shakespeare. I told him that I was an English major with hopes of being a professor some day, eager to keep the conversation on more positive topics. "Oh this is great," he says, and gives me the most unexpected high five of my life. 

I begin to notice that Dr. Kim keeps repeating the same questions to me. "How long have you been in Korea?" "What do you do in Korea?" I find myself explaining the same details three to four times in the span of about twenty minutes. I assume that it is just a product of old age, possibly Alzheimer's , so I just answer as if for the first time. Then suddenly the other old man (who looks like the Korean Larry King) slams his hand on the table and shouts, "YOU ASK SAME QUESTIONS MANY TIMES. YOU OLD MAN." I don't think he quite realized how loud he was, as many people around us looked over in shock. They were probably also a little curious as to why a shaggy-haired white kid was sitting at a table with two old Korean men. 

Then, as if to redeem himself, Larry King (I can't remember his name) tells me that Dr. Kim was the personal interpreter of General John Hodge when the Americans entered Korea and kicked the Japanese out in 1945. This was a big deal considering that Hodge pretty much ran the show until a Korean government was established. Dr. Kim did not have too much to say on the subject and seemed more intent on talking to me about Shakespeare or Dickens than General Hodge, so I didn't ask about details. 

As I was just beginning to think of a way to sneak back to my apartment so that I could eat dinner, Larry King turned to me and said, "You like Chinese food." I assumed he meant it as a question so I simply agreed. "Well then, I will treat you both to Chinese food. Let's go." They both stood up and looked at me. "Sure," I thought. "Why not?" So we walked upstairs (we were in a mall-esque building) and went for some delicious Chinese food. There wasn't much else in the conversation department as Koreans tend to focus 100% of their attention on the meal in front of them. However, the food was great and the Soju was flowing freely. 

Afterwards, I shook hands with Larry King and Dr. Kim, and headed back to my apartment. I realized that this is just one of many moments in Korea that have just been truly unexpected. It is hard to always keep that "open" attitude towards new and strange experiences. Sometimes you just want normality, to sit down with a book and a cup of coffee. In the end though, this is the experience I will remember. Two Korean men went out of their way to get to know me and share a little bit of their lives with me, even inviting me to dinner. That has to be somewhat of a unique opportunity and I'm glad that I got the chance to meet these two men, sip some coffee, and slurp up Chinese noodles.

The Tear Jerks - Live @ Club DGBD

One of the most unexpected things that has happened since arriving in Seoul is that I have joined a band, the Tear Jerks. To make a long story short, I randomly met this Irish bass player named Cain upon discovery that he needed a drummer for a punk band. Luckily, he knew of a practice space with its own drum set. So, one Sunday in mid-October, I headed over to Itaewon, met the rest of the band, and practiced with them for a couple of hours. Almost two months later, we landed a gig (thanks to Cain) opening for a korean psychobilly band called the Rock Tigers. Fast forward to last Saturday and the moment of truth was finally upon us. Here is a shot of my three band mates:

From left to right: John (Guitar), Shawn (Vocals), Cain (Bass)

And here's me:

Since we haven't even been playing for two months, we only have seven songs that we knew with enough confidence to play. So we plowed through our set in about 25 minutes and, before I knew it, I was hopping off the stage wishing we could do it all over again. Luckily, the crowd really seemed to like it. Perhaps it is because all of our songs are about drinking and/or fighting. Most of the people in the crowd were doing the former and had probably, at one point, done the latter. There were many attempts for me to take my shirt off during the show, though I refused. All in all it was one of the best experiences I've had so far in Korea. Fortunately, the fun isn't over yet. We have another show this upcoming weekend at a place called Club FF, so I'm very excited about that. We're playing Club FF on New Year's Eve as well. 

My friend Courtney took some video of last Saturday's performance, so I will try and post that if I can get ahold of it. Until then, here's a nice shot of the top of my head. Thank God I'm not balding...yet.

A brief look at R. Kelly

I first became fascinated with R. Kelly when I was introduced to "Trapped in the Closet" while visiting a friend at Harvard (irony?). Somehow we managed to watch the first twelve chapters and, as I sat there afterwards, reflecting on my experience, I could not help but think that my life was entering a new era: the "Post-Trapped in the Closet" phase. Fortunately I had overestimated the video's effect on my perception of reality and my daily life continued more or less as expected. The only noticeable difference was that I now found myself thoroughly intrigued by all things R. Kelly. Who is this man? What goes on inside his head? Is he actually serious?

My quest for answers to these questions has only increased the mystery surrounding the man and his music, though it has lead to some fairly interesting discoveries. The first being this:



Second, my love of deep cuts is no secret and R. Kelly's catalogue has some real hidden treasures. Songs like Sex Weed, Kickin' It With Your Girlfriend, Sex In the Kitchen, Tryin' To Get A Number, and The Zoo are prime examples of R. Kelly's provocative, lewd, and often baffling song-writing.

A few examples:

Girl you're in the kitchen

Cooking me a meal

Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel

-from "Sex in the Kitchen"

Girl, I got you so wet
It's like a rain forest
Like Jurassic Park
Except I'm your sex-a-saurus baby

-from "The Zoo"

Girl you got that sex weed
I just want to hit it all the time
Sex so good that it gets me high
Bring that home grown to me

-from "Sex Weed"

*I have to note at this point that, upon proof-reading this post, I noticed that all three of those quotes begin with R. Kelly addressing his female counterpart as "girl." In a perfect world, this would eventually become a poetic device forever linked to the genius of R. Kelly. So if in 50 years some new R&B singer begins a verse or chorus with "girl," scholars will note that this verse is very 'Kellian' in nature. That is, assuming that there will be R&B scholars in the future. Again...perfect world scenario here.

The most fascinating aspect of R. Kelly as a song-writer is that he appears to be dead serious. The 'Real Talk' video and the lyrics above could easily have come from some comedian satirizing modern R&B or simply just trying to get a laugh. However, R. Kelly writes songs comparing sex to marijuana or a burning desire to toss his girl's salad without so much as a hint of sarcasm. His new album, 12 Play: Fourth Quarter, is set to be released in early 2009, and with song titles such as "Wanna Make a Baby," "Freaky Sensation," and "Playas Get Lonely," it promises to be a good one.

a Haiku for O.J.

In honor of O.J. Simpson's recent conviction, my good friend Khiet Chhu wrote a haiku that I would like to share with my reader(s). 

He only wanted
To get his things back from them,
But he used a gun.

...oops

Kkangpae: The Korean Gangster

After a brief gchat discussion with a friend about gangs in Korea, I decided to do a little research. The Korean gang scene is not something that I have given much thought before today, probably because Seoul is the safest place I have ever lived (Cape Cod included). The worst thing that could possibly happen to me is getting into a bar fight with another westerner, which I don't foresee in my immediate future. 

Anyway, I began my quest by searching 'Korean Gangs' on google. Nothing really exciting turned up. So I tried 'Korean Organized Crime.' This search eventually lead to the discovery of 'KKangpae,' the Korean word for 'Gangster.' A Wikipedia search revealed a brief history of Gang Life in Korea, but nothing too exciting. 

Organized crime is the name of the game in Korea. Street gangs have never had much of a presence, but the Korean mob had a fairly good run in the 1960s-80s. The Korean mob works pretty much like any other mob: specializing in extortion, prostitution, money laundering, kidnapping, sale of illegal goods, and owning nightclubs. In the 1990s, the Korean government decided to finally crack down on the K-mob and did a surprisingly thorough job. Now, the K-mob scene is fairly non-existent, especially in big cities such as Seoul and Busan, where most of the organized crime of earlier decades took place.  Surviving on the fringe of Korean society, the gangs work out of small cities now, where there is little threat of police interaction. 

Organized crime may be a dying force in the ROK, but apparently there is a large presence of Korean-American gangs in many US cities. According to Wikipedia, Los Angeles and New York have a significant amount of Korean-American organized crime rings and smaller street gangs. Other cities such as Chicago, Philly, Miami, Seattle, and even Dallas have seen a significant amount of Korean gang activity.

Wikipedia also notes that Korean-American gangs are unique in the fact that there is a very strict system of rank based on age. Also, binge drinking is an important method of bonding between Korean gang members. Interestingly enough, this is pretty much exactly how Korean businesses work too. I guess some cultural traits transcend both space and legality.

My typical dinner

On Monday-Thursday, I generally eat my dinner sitting at my small black table, admiring the bustling night traffic and glittering city lights that appear through my window, and listening to whatever music happens to be playing from my computer that is most likely perched on top of my air conditioner. If I am too lazy to prepare anything, I have my choice of about 25 different restaurants without even stepping foot outside.

My typical self-prepared meal is far different from previous "Cooper Staples." However, I have grown to love my little K-meals, and already dread the day when Kimchi is not readily available as that ubiquitous side dish. About 90% of my meals consist of four things. The first, and perhaps most important part of any Korean meal, is the rice. My rice is grade-A sticky white rice straight from the source...my rice maker:

I also have kimchi, seaweed wrap, and what I shall refer to as the "wild card" dish. There is nothing exciting about the wild card, it is just simply the only dish that ever changes. In the picture below, you will note that the "wild card" from tonight's dinner was two scrambled eggs. The bowl in the middle is a serving of delicious rice. Behind the rice is a tray full of seaweed wrap, which I use to wrap up various combinations of rice, kimchi, and egg. That giant container of what looks like vomit is, in fact, Kimchi. Obviously I will not consume the entire plastic tub in one sitting. Actually, it takes me over a month to consume an entire tub of Kimchi. Despite it's outward appearance (especially in this photo), Kimchi is actually quite delicious. The Kimchi you see below comes from the E-Mart in my building. 

So there you have it...my average dinner. It may not look very appetizing, but I assure you that my makeshift Asian meal rivals anything that I used to whip up back in America.

Korea's Singing Highway

My prediction: Korean record companies are going to start buying out sections of highway so that they can pump the latest k-pop single. That way, you can never escape it's bubble gum grip.

On Egg Nog, Beer, and Charlie Brown

The day after Thanksgiving officially marks the beginning of the Christmas season for most Americans (though a quick stroll through a shopping mall would have you believe that the kickoff happens sometime closer to Halloween). This is also the day that I officially allow myself to begin to listen to Christmas music and indulge in any kitschy holiday films or TV specials I happen to enjoy. Granted, I used to watch the Rudolf Christmas Special in the middle of July back in the simpler times of my youth, but I'm older now, more prone to cynicism and apathy. Thus, I have to set strict guidelines for myself.

The Christmas season, in many ways, operates much like a Microbrewery. There are a whole list of traditions, foods, beverages, decorations, songs, movies, etc. that are only supposed to surface during the months of November and December. Egg Nog is a great example of this. Kudos to the dairy companies of America for strictly adhering to the unwritten code of Egg Nog consumption. Though almost nothing is sacred in this modern, drug-crazed and porn-soaked era of ours, at least companies such as Hood and Garelick farms still know the value of tradition and understand that Egg Nog is only to be consumed during a specific time of the year. Imagine...Egg Nog in August. All decency would be lost. Children would be impregnating their parents. John Madden would travel by airplane. The Drew Carey Show would be back on the air. Total Chaos.

However, I digress. Back to the Microbrew analogy. Imagine that your favorite beer is a Long Trail Harvest, a delicious amber ale that goes down smooth during those crisp autumn days in Vermont. This particular beer is only available during the months of August through December or January, depending on when the final batch is gone. Now, bottled beer is still drinkable for at least six months. So if this happens to be you favorite beer, you could easily buy a case or two, store it in your closet, and break it out in May to the envy of all your friends. 

The problem with this hypothetical scenario is that there is something inherently special about seasonal beer. That moment when Harvest Ale first hits the shelves at your local liquor store is a magical time. That first sip is not only delicious, but also telling. When those hops tango with your taste buds for the first time in nine months, you know that summer is ending, the leaves are about to change, and the days are getting shorter. The fact that a beer can have that effect is one thing that makes seasonal brew such a great part of beer culture. Drinking a Harvest Ale in June would, quite simply, ruin that effect. When the beer hit the shelves that following August, it would cease to be anything but a good-tasting beer. Your taste buds would still be happy but there would be no sense of seasonal romanticism, which I imagine is a terrible loss.

Like Long Trail Harvest, Christmas, and the endless amount of baggage that comes with it, should only be enjoyed during a specific time each year. Some may believe that time begins in November. Others, like me, may choose to partake once Thanksgiving is over. That's freedom...that's America. Anybody who puts up decorations or dusts off the Bing Crosby records before November however, should be publicly ridiculed. 

So, as another Christmas season begins, and one that will no doubt prove to be the strangest in my short history on this planet, I look forward to enjoying those personal traditions I hold close to my heart. Will they have Egg Nog in Seoul? Maybe. Will I get to kiss a pretty Korean girl under the mistletoe? Probably not. Will I stroll through Myong-dong, enjoying the lights with the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas streaming through my headphones? Most definitely.

808s and Heartbreak: My $.02

It's 1:09 am on a Sunday. There are clothes hung up all around me, drying after a long overdue wash. There are seven empty cans of Coke Zero and four empty bottles of Powerade Mountain Blast within my range of vision. The highway that I often look at out my window is surprisingly empty. More importantly, I just gave my third and final listen to Kanye West's fourth and most recent LP, 808s and Heartbreak.

About three months ago, I read an article on pitchforkmedia.com mentioning that Kanye West was planning on releasing a new album in which he was going to sing, not rap, using only Auto-Tune. Needless to say, I was curious. Soon after, Kanye released "Love Lockdown," the first single from the album, and my curiosity quickly turned into disappointment. I disliked the song immediately, and realized that this album was going to be very, very different from anything else in Kanye's catalogue. 

Despite my opinion of "Love Lockdown" I still approached my first listen of 808s and Heartbreak with optimism and a clear mind. After struggling through the first six and a half songs, I had to turn it off. The only song I remotely enjoyed was Paranoid, and I couldn't decide if I legitimately liked it or if it was just good in comparison to the rest of the awful mess of songs. Now, after finishing the album and going through it two more times, I decided that the answer fell somewhere in the middle. 

Regardless the album's content however, I have to give Kanye credit for making an album that is so drastically different from the rest of his music. This may not be his "Bringing It All Back Home" or "Kid A," but at least it shows Kanye's fearless approach to record-making and ability to completely change up his style. I think Rolling Stone hit it right on the money when they called 808s and Heartbreak "Kanye's Noble Failure." The album is indeed a failure, but you have to respect an artist who truly does not cater to the critics, or the even the fans. 

I may never listen to 808s and Heartbreaks again, but I'll still line up to pick up his next album, no matter what that may be.

Which do you prefer?

This week I am teaching a lesson to my grade 2 classes (High School juniors) about preferences - asking others about their preferences and explaining the reasons behind your own. In the beginning of the class, I explain different ways to ask about preferences and the ways that you would answer someone who asked you about your own preferences. Some of the vocabulary includes "Which do you prefer, ... or ...?" and "I prefer ... because ... is more..." Obviously, this is simple stuff, but the students are always much more animated and interested when they understand the concepts easily. 

The highlight of the lesson comes at the end, when I ask the students to create their own preference question and survey the class. We use the outline "Which/Who do you prefer, A or B?" and the students have to insert their own objects into A and B. One interesting aspect about this lesson was that in every class without fail, a student would create the question "Who do you prefer, Mom or Dad?" In a school that is about 80% male, almost every student chose Mom. Can anyone say, "Oedipus?"

I was pleasantly surprised at how much the students enjoyed this activity, since I generally have to bribe them with candy to do anything that involves getting out of their chairs. Here are some of the most amusing survey questions that the students came up with:

Girlfriend or Pizza? (winner: pizza)

Sexy Girl or Pretty Girl (winner: sexy girl)

Money or Family (winner: family...by one vote)

Dogs or Cats (winner: dogs because "dogs are more delicious"....seriously)

Cooper or Homeroom teacher (winner: Cooper, by unanimous decision...yes!)

Crime & Punishment

I try and refrain from plugging or even discussing books in general, as it usually turns into a literary biggest dick competition, but I feel compelled to at least write something about this book.

Yesterday I finished Crime & Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. The book itself has one of those ominous titles, like Tolstoy's War & Peace or Dickens' Bleak House, that suggests a story that almost has to be dry, long and incredibly dull. Despite the title or Dostoyevsky's reputation for heavy philosophical undertones, Crime & Punishment is actually (and surprisingly) a thrilling page-turner. 

I won't go into plot details or my personal interpretation of the novel because nobody really cares what I think. However, I will say that if any novel under the category of "Classic" seems daunting to you, or even boring, consider reading Crime & Punishment. While it isn't 'light' by any means, the novel is one of the most accessible classics hat I have read in a while. It is also one of the most incredibly well-written and beautifully told stories I have ever read, with a truly memorable and unique protagonist. 

"Where was it I read about a man sentenced to death, who, one hour before his execution, says or thinks that if he had to live on some high rock, on a cliff, on a ledge so narrow that there was only room enough for him to stand there, and if there were bottomless chasms all around, the ocean, eternal darkness, eternal solitude, and eternal gales, and if he had to spend all his life on that square yard of space - a thousand years, an eternity - he'd rather live like that than die at once! Oh, only to live, live, live! Live under any circumstances - only to live! How true it is! Good Lord, how true it is!"

Meteor Caught on Video

While driving through Edmonton last Thursday evening, a police officer happened to catch a falling meteor on his dash cam. Maybe it's because I have always been a closet space nerd, but I got chills down my spine when I first saw this video today. Just watch how the meteor makes the sky light up as it burns up. BADASS.

First snow in Seoul

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to look out of the window in the Teacher's Office to find that it was snowing outside. It should also be noted that I happened to be listening to lame Christmas music on youtube at the same time. The first snow of the season always puts me in a good mood. There is a certain smell to snow, and a certain calm feeling that comes with a snow flurry that I'm reminded of every year. Luckily, it was no different in Seoul.

Here are some pictures I took:

My Life as a Game Show Host

As previously mentioned, I spend most of my class time playing games or making my students participate in various amusing and somewhat simple activities. Since I had to conduct performance exams last week, and final exams are coming up in a few weeks, I decided that this is a good a time as any to introduce the students of Seoul Robotics High School to the magical world of Jeopardy.

My version ended up as sort of a poor man's Jeopardy only because I try and keep things as simple as possible with my students. So there was no Double Jeopardy or Final Jeopardy or mid-game contestant intros or Trebeck one-liners. Plus, the questions were actual questions, not answers. I did feel the need to add a final Jeopardy round, but then it got too confusing when I tried to explain the concept of a wager. Thus, Final Jeopardy didn't last very long. Essentially, my version of Jeopardy consisted of seven categories with five questions in each one, ranging from 100-500 points each. The categories were America, Capitol Cities, Sports, Spelling, Puzzle, Music, and ?????. The students got really excited about the random category. After I would draw the question marks on the board, the students would all go, "OOOO, WHAT IS THIS?" I would always respond the same way, with an obnoxious shoulder shrug. Then I would get something along the lines of, "OO COOPAH, YOU A TRICKY TRICKY MAN." 

One of the things that really amazes me about my students is the intensity with which they compete for one small piece of candy. All I have to do is say, "Oh yea, and the winning team gets candy" and the place goes absolutely wild. The best part is, I never have to police the classroom. Students will gladly rat on each other if they see the slightest sign of cheating. They also enjoy swearing at each other, screaming, slapping, and falling out of their chairs when they get a wrong answer.

The best part of playing Jeopardy all week has to be the answers that I got from some of these kids. One of the questions was "What is the largest state in America?" Most of the answers I got were either California or New York, mostly because these are the only states that the students could think of on the spot. However, I was really happy when one student shot up from his desk, hand in the air, and shouting, "ME ME I KNOW I KNOW." Based on his reaction, I assumed he had the right answer. So I point to him and he replies "LAS VEGAS" with absolute confidence.

A few weeks ago I was surfing this ESL teacher's forum to try and get some ideas for a class I was teaching on tenses. The only good piece of advice I found was from a guy who suggested that, whenever you play a game involving teams, always allow the students to come up with their own team name, as opposed to just saying "team 1, team 2, team 3, etc.." So I decided to give this a shot and it ended up being very amusing. A lot of my students, especially the younger ones, are shy and/or apathetic. So when I say, "Ok, each team come up with your own name...in English," they often just sit there, staring at me blankly. I quickly put an end to this by deciding that any team that did not create their own name would get a name chosen by me. As soon as I began to write "The Pretty Flowers" or "Team Ajumma (Korean grandmother)" on the board, they changed their tune very quickly.

Some of my favorite names:

Team Spam

The Piccolos

Michael Jackson

Genius Monkey

Team Uhh

Sex Machines (not accepted)

Sexy Team (revised name of the Sex Machines)

Terminator

Cooper Team

Not surprisingly, Jeopardy was a great success, despite the lack of educational value.

A Hard-Knock Life

Last week I was given the unpleasant task of conducting "performance tests" for all 18 of my regular classes. Generally, foreign teachers in Korean public schools do not give graded assignments, but my co-teachers thought it would be good for me to be in charge of the "speaking and pronunciation" aspect of the school-wide English performance tests. So I spent the entire week sitting in the hallway with no heat, wearing a jacket and scarf, and essentially guiding my students to the correct answers. After hearing from my co-teachers that the average grade on English exams for our students is 36%, I decided to give them a chance to boost their scores a little bit. I announced the test during the prior week by saying, "Performance tests next class (cue groans). Very easy. Do not worry." This seemed to translate well.

The lives of Korean High School students can be summed up in one word: STUDY! For most teenagers, their entire existence is spent in preparation for the college entrance exam. This nine-hour test is pretty much what you would imagine the SAT to be like in Nazi Germany. Failure to do well in the college entrance exam means a failure in life, and it is only offered once a year. In America, if you do poorly on the SAT, the sun still rises. You may not get into Harvard or Princeton, but there are about twenty thousand other colleges in the country that would be glad to accept your mediocre ass. Korea is different. There are essentially two different levels of universities: those that are in Seoul (the good ones) and those that aren't (the bad ones). The pressure for students to enter the "good" universities is unrealistically high given the extremely low acceptance rate. As a result, the reality for many of these young kids is one of extreme pressure, disappointment, and stress. It also creates a culture that lacks much of a teen voice, something that, as an American, seems like somewhat of a tragedy to me.

My generalized and, most likely, unfounded opinions on the Korean public school system are reflected in the way I teach my class. First of all, I understand that, in general, my students despise English. You would too if you were tested on material that is way above your ability. Imagine entering High School and being expected to learn Geometry when you are still struggling to understand long division. Translate this analogy to learning English, and this is pretty much the scene that I walked into way back in September. So I decided early on that I am going to ignore the text book and try to trick the kids into enjoying their education. We spend most of our time in class playing games that are (somewhat) educational. The other five English teachers are forced to teach to the national tests, but I'm pretty much given free reign as long as it appears that the kids are learning.

The result has been surprisingly positive. Other teachers are shocked at the increase in level ability and interest in English. Students approach me in the hallway or in class to tell me that they helped a confused American tourist over the weekend, after a lesson about giving directions in the subway. Students, more and more often, are visiting me at my desk to practice their English and attempt conversation. Many times, they are just trying to see if I like beer or if I will take them on a date for Soju and BBQ. But hey, my motto is, "if they're speaking English, it's fine by me." This motto also works when my students blatantly swear at each other in the middle of class. Until the day they swear at me, I'll let it slide.

Basically, all I try and do is to get these kids to relax a little bit and have fun. If I bog them down with vocabulary, grammar, study sheets, and practice exercises, they will lose interest almost immediately. If I disguise a lesson plan in the form of Charades or gambling for candy, they learn without even knowing it, and there are few things I enjoy more than deceiving children.

This Month in K-Pop: November

Ladies and gentlemen.....the Wonder Girls

The Wonder Girls are a wildly popular Korean girl group who have been pumping out hit after hit since their debut on the K-scene in 2007. Their recent hit "Nobody" has been the #1 single on the Korean charts for at least 3 weeks now. Like Davichi's "Love and War" before it, "Nobody" is ubiquitous. It would be impossible to live anywhere near Seoul and not know this song. 

I made the mistake of singing the chorus while talking with two of my students a few weeks ago. Now I receive multiple requests a day: "TEACHA TEACHA... NOBODY SING"

So, here it is for your listening pleasure (read: pain). I was going to post the official music video, but the actual song doesn't begin for about two minutes in order to set up the video's whack plot. Instead, I found this video of some white kid who learned the official "Nobody" dance moves...much better in my opinion.